Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Fuel for life & shelter?

This morning, I woke up late (9:30) despite my long 2.5 hour nap yesterday. Feeling groggy afterwards did not stop me from sleeping more.

I didn't have much time to eat a meal before heated yoga. I snacked on a thinkThin white chocolate protein bar on the way.

Hot yoga is not my favorite. It's sweaty, but the sweat is artificial. I have to wear shorts. Being short, my legs are not hot. They're muscular but there's definitely a layer of fat and dimples.

I loved Hot Ra 1 today. The class is a condensed version of Bikram yoga in 60 minutes. We do the same poses but only once. The room is not as hot or at least varies in heat.

The instructor also came by to help me achieve bow pose. I understand that adjustments are not proper in some when-you're-ready way, but I love being pushed in yoga. I also love any back poses to counteract forward poses.

On the way home, a thought came up. I've always been overweight and when I got thin, I was ecstatic. I've never been thin though. Living and being thin is so different from being fat. I've had the fat girl mindset with the fat girl personality. It's a humbling experience. On the other hand, I always thought thin chicks were horrible people who get life handed to them.

Beyond the physical part of it, I wonder if being fat is fuel for my life. I don't want to be just another thin Asian girl. I'm out to prove myself all the time - I can do what any person, thin or not, can. Today's yoga class was a perfect example. I was killin' it and surprisingly a tad bit more advanced than everyone else. I was darn proud of myself in comparison to others but also myself - is that okay then?

Fat is a shelter too. Once it's gone, I have to focus on the rest of my life. For now, I can just worry about working out and eating well.

Whoa, too much! As I keep those things in mind, I'm going to start livin' it up.
  • Study then take the CTEL to finally get my credential!
  • Work, work, and work more, which I totally do
  • Read more
  • Learn a new skill like table setting, canning, or knitting (probably not)
I would include going out, but all of my "going out" and "hanging out" is physical. Um, that's just my life now.

To keep things light in this post...

And I'm off to shower, eat, and watch "MasterChef" top 7 I missed last night.

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