What matters

Finding a job honestly just sucks. I admit it, I question my worth after each unsuccessful interview with tears. It's painful. I see people I went to school with doing pretty awesome things and here I am. I don't need a lot, just a good life where I'm happy.

Too much facebooking makes me sad so I've been keeping away. Twitter helps though and I read up on Healthy Ashley's progress. I met her at the lululemon store in Asheville when I lived there. I can barely read her blog posts without feeling some ghost(ly) physical pains and remembering to be safe when riding my bike.

But like I told my dad when he envied his brother, we have our health. My uncle has diabetes and can't drive anymore because his vision is so terrible. His wife and children honestly don't care for him at all - I won't even get into how bad it is. Though dad is in a different country, I would at the very least be upset if anything bad happened. I'd definitely hop on a plane if necessary.

*We're a really messed up family. Despite my parents' and my faults, I know they're still good people. We love our family and wouldn't intentionally hurt them. I can only say that about half of my family members. That's bad. Really bad.

Okay, I don't know how it got to be a family discussion... parts of my family do indeed ROCK.

I am grateful for my family. Period. So grateful.

Friends? Well, that's hard to say right now. Where I am has changed and I realized that there were a lot of then-and-there friends not those in it for the long run. :/

I have my health, which is improving everyday. That's my goal: to be healthier than yesterday, or try to be.

Healthy Ashley's accident reminds us that no matter where we are and what we're doing, something insane can occur and turn our worlds upside down.

What would I do if it happened to me? I'm not quite strong enough to handle it. I also take pride in bettering myself daily through physical activity, especially since my career is stagnant right now.

This question reminds me that life is more than one thing (fitness). I need to focus on other parts of my life also, particularly making friends and enriching other aspects of my life.

The career part is important of course, but an accident like Ashley's would put me out of work. Then what does working matter?

Yes, I got all upset again today because I got shot down again. (Friday's interview)

I had a good interview yesterday, one that was better than Friday, and today's interview was... difficult to decipher. The interviewer talked 75% of the time and told me that the principal was also interviewing. How does that even work? Usually, I'm interviewed by 2-3 people (usually 3) and not just one.

Well, tomorrow is a big day. An e-mail would be bad and a phone call would be good. I have another interview tomorrow morning. Send good vibes - this one is going to be a toughie!