Last meal

Today I flew back. I almost didn’t make it. It was 10:45 and I broke down crying. Mom was perplexed and I could barely explain it to her because of the whole familial situation. I’ll just list them for ya.

I miss my daddy. I hadn’t seen him in two years and I barely got to spend time with him because neither of us drive in California. What little time I spent with him was at home.

Though I gained weight and wasn’t too happy to come home because of it, I actually lost weight when I came back. So really, I didn’t have too bad of a time at home.

I wanted to go to a breakfast pastry baking class at Blackmarket Bakery that bad.

I don’t want to go back to work. I’ve decided I’m working through the school year and through June then I’ll be in California to work at the fair for the summer before I move to… Austin.

Speaking of Austin, I’m planning a trip there for spring break.

Anyways, that last one isn’t really a reason except I’m a little done with the monotony of life.

I almost, very closely, didn’t go to the airport. I almost bought a new plane ticket to spend just a few more days in California. And, I almost would’ve gotten fired from my job. As is, I’m taking the day off tomorrow since I’m flying in so late and need to recuperate.

The question remains: Austin or someplace else? Would I move home? The answer to the latter changes quite often – sometimes it’s a flat no and sometimes I ask the question.

Flying totally sucks. I hate the aches and pains, the inability to breathe and move, and time spent idling. I tried to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I’ve been trying to read for over a week now and am only around page 200, but I fell asleep or would get a headache. L

I want to eat. I broke my raw food plan this morning when I had some pineapple buns at 9:30AM. Yikes. I snuck them into my belly.

I ate a Heart Thrive apple bar when I got on the plane at around 1:30PM. Then the guy next to me tempted me to eat half of my Raw Foods bar in chocolate fiber delite (those words in some order) as he nibbled on nuts and M&Ms.

I’m holding off on drinking my dinner, a Vega Whole Foods Energizer in vanilla chai, until 7PM PST or hold off altogether for the ride back to Asheville since I would only have to wait 30 more minutes anyhow.

I’m fiending for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich though, but I’ll have it tomorrow. Yeah, I’m going raw for the most part, but I need my bread and some PB. I’m going to see how this Manna bread holds out since it’s raw to some people and if it’s good, I can agree with it or just go with some plain whole wheat, grainy fiber bread.

I have some big plans for tomorrow. Once I get to Charlotte, I’ll need to walk off the aches and drive back. We might get ourselves some food so I’ll hold off on my drink, but it is a better meal for me since I haven’t quite had all my nutrients today… we’ll see.

I plan to sleep big, wake up early, go grocery shopping, send dad things, bake, and go to step class.